YOU are not my issue....

It really drives me crazy and so much annoyed with this nonsense and stupidity...kenapa la melayu suka sgt nk b'lagak? Suka sgt bila dia lebih dr org biarpun lebih dia tu cuma sikit jer...x perasan pun lebih dia tu...haishhh...

Benci tau x bila dgr dia sebot mcm ni...'oh..I dh tau dh workload utk kelas ni...I maybe dpt lebih dr satu subject...bos ckp kt I...bla..bla..bla...' mslhnya bkn semua org xtau kau tu sape? Dh mmg satu tmpt keja ni kenal kau tu mmg kaki jaga tepi kain org...mulot tempayan...hati busok...suka mengumpat org...mengata org yg bkn2...everybody knows! And yet you pretend that everybody likes you...adoiii...x sedar diri betol si gemok neh!

I can't stand the way you brag abt how good you are...please la weiii...nobody cares ok? Kdg2 klu dia tido...don't be too safe la friends...coz...dia buat2 tido jer tau..pdhal dia dok dgr conversation kita...Allah...terok betol...

Bak kata one of my close friends...rupa dh la x cantik...ditambah lg dgn perangai yg burok..maka hodoh la jdnya....betol kesyganku sekelian? :D

you were wrong....

how many times have i told myself that i'm over it? i am...i am really over it...i walk through my life now with a lot of happiness...with a lot of strength....with a lot of support and guidance...and i don't think or depend my emotions to YOU anymore...we went through our own path of life and we are pretty much happy with our choice...

then why all of the sudden the heart beats your name again? all this while i never thought of not having you near..though actually we have never met each other for such a long time...and i'm really comfortable with not seeing you....i know...i'm actually trying to avoid...trying to walk away...trying to throw everything in flames...but you keep coming back....

i hate it when you thanked me for everything...telling me how i have sacrificed for you...risking my life for you...being there for you...patiently supporting you...i hate it...but i'm touched by the words at the same time...it's like your most honest confession...and again...i would just be whom i always been with you...encouraging and supporting you as your most best friend....

i have known that this day would finally come one day...you would finally be leaving Kuala Lumpur...and continue your dream to be with your family...when i got that call..i was so happy for you...but then i realized i would never have the chance to see you again...you said the same thing too... :) i got my ego...and you know how hard my heart is...you once said that i have a very cold heart..kejam...haha! i do...but that heart is what has kept me alive until now...making me able to walk the world without having to cry and that heart has been keeping me strong...

i guess my dear friend..this is what we call life...having a part of my journey with you has been the most remembered memory....we both will always be the most odd couple...the irreplaceable couple...the most controversy...haha! :D it has been painful and fun at the same time...

and if you think at this moment that i can't live without you near...YOU WERE WRONG... :) have a great life...

you will never be....

How did we ever come to this
I never thought you'd be
someone I'd have to miss
and there I was caught in your game
needing answers that never came
and we took a chance,
you said you were strong
strong enough
but you were wrong...

and now I'm...

Deafened by your silence
blinded by the tears
if you're looking for forgiveness
you won't find that here
cause you lied your way to heartbreak
and now its all too clear
that you will never be....

Look at her
she won't ever compare
you can say you're sorry
but I still don't care
was she worth this mess
was she worth this pain
you can say it's her fault
but you're both to blame

...Now I'm ....

Looking back it was all so easy
I hope you know you're my last mistake
Don't come around and say you need me
I won't stay

Now I know that you were so deceiving
was it fun for you to walk away
I hope you liked it
cause she's so damn easy
you won't change

That you will never be......

 

"the love with you was the scariest one of all..."

- black parade queen -

Iron lady in da house again!

Assalamualaikum...what a long raya holiday...2 weeks of family bonding time and leisure and waking up late in the morning...(well not that late...8.30 in the morning and then umi dh call hp suroh turon...kikiki..)whatever it is...my raya holiday was fabulous... ^_^ and the raya has been tremendously wonderful... ^_^

Now...here comes Monday blues...hihihi...blk ler ke dunia keja blk... :D awal2 pagi pelangi dh berlari2 ke sana sini dgn kelas...dgn meeting...dgn program...dgn persediaan utk students exam..wahahaha...iron lady is back! Huii...i really miss the havoc moments of my life..kikiki...seronok sibuk ni tp pelangi kena ingat janji pada aboh...'Jgn lupa mkn...jaga kesihatan...jgn asyik nk keja smpai lupa nk jaga diri..! Hihi...comel jer cinta hati mama ni klu m'bebel...kikiki...yea...mama ingat pesan aboh...hihi... ^_^

Oh well...got to get back to work now...there are tons of essays to mark...consultations dates to meet up...in other words...busy till I'm drown..ekekeke... ^_^

zafirah alia....

alia yg comel...buah hati umi...yg suka mkn apa saja yg dia pegang...kikiki...

kenapa zafirah alia istimewa? dia...satu2nya waris keluarga Sh. Omar bin Sh. Salim... :) satu2nya waris dr darah keturunan Sheikh Omar al-Basmeih...sbb tu...zafirah alia sgt istimewa....alia x sama mcm baby yg lain...dia sgt unik...klu baby lain bukak mata menangis...alia suka t'senyum....hehe....alia x penah hilang senyumannya...bgn tido senyum...nk tido senyum...mandi senyum..buang air besor pun senyum! wakakkaak!

satu lg...alia nih panjang akal...maksodnya bijak...umurnya baru 7 bln tp dia dh pandai main tinjau2 jeling2 org..heheh...alia suka m'jerit...agaknya mengikot nenek dan maklang dia yg jenis ckp kuat dan suka m'jerit...ekekkee...atok dan umi long dia nih pulak jenis lembot...heheh..tp alia rockers! ganazzzz....ekekkekeke...dia x minat main patong2 mcm baby girl lain...yg dia minat..main lori...fire engine mcm abg2 tiri dia... :D ganas kan alia? kihihih...

apa pun alia tetap jd pujaan hati keluarga...bila blk keja, tgk alia hilang rasa penat...tgk gelagat dia....asyik ketawa kita dibuatnya...hihih...alia...jadi anak yg solehah yea...anak yg baik pd ibubapa...hormat org tua...hormat abg2 alia...biarlah jadi anak yg bijak..dan luas pemikiran...jadilah laih dari yg lain...sbb alia unik...bnyk istimewanya siti zafirah alia...seindah dan semulia namamu... ^_^

Raya...kenangan...tangisan...

bila tibanya syawal ada kenangan yg mengusik jiwa....dan bila kenangan itu dtg airmata pun turut mengalir...suatu ketika dulu...hari2 menggu syawal adalah hari2 yg indah buat pelangi... :)

masih pelangi ingat...berbuka puasa bersama2...indah...meriah...kami seiringan...semua...semua ada...ibarat satu keluarga...betapa kuatnya hubungan ketika itu...seolah2 tidak akan ada yg rapuh....pelangi masih ingat waktu itu...pulang dari kerja...pelangi akan terus ke bilik asrama dan memasak...waktu tu pelangi masih lg tinggal di hostel...jadi mcm warden asrama...hehehe...masa tu dorang sumer masih ada...sumernya...masih lg rapat dan kuat dan teguh bersama...


tp yea la...itu dulu...kenangan dulu...skrg nih semuanya dh b'ubah..masing2 ikot haluan dan jalan sendiri....makin lama makin jauh dari semua...yg tinggal hanyalah si comel2 nih....Mimie...Malie...Diba...yea...dan mungkin...yg sebnrnya kesygan pelangi....Mekno.... :) pelangi lebih suka dgn keadaan skrg....cukoplah hanya kami b'lima...sbb cuma mereka saja yg selalu kekal dgn pelangi...dia..dia..dan dia...dan dia juga...x pernah amik kisah pun tentang pelangi...mcm kata aboh...bila pelangi susah...bila pelangi sakit...siapa yg carik pelangi? siapa yg kisahkan ttg pelangi? cuma dorang nih jer...Mimie..Malie...Diba...Mekno...these are my angels... :)

pelangi xnk dh lagi org lain masok campur dlm hidop pelangi...pelangi bosan...pelangi nk hidop dgn tenang...dia yg pernah menjadi kebanggaan pelangi dulu biarlah hilang bersama waktu...terkenangkan lagu 'Beribu Sesalan'...mmg itulah luahan hati pelangi buat dia...kisah janji yg dimungkiri lagi...awak...hilanglah dari hidop saya...xde satu kenangan pun ttg kita yg saya rasa punyai makna lagi...

:) pelangi ada aboh...pelangi ada anak2 pelangi... :) pelangi xnk apa2 lg... :)

 hijrah itu indah kan? :)

Tudung...

Ada bnyk isu ttg tudung...ada tudung sarong...tudung bawal...tudung selendang..tudung Hana tajima laa..mcm2 jenis tudung laa...mcm2 fesyen...tp itu sumer tudung kepala...tudung hati? Ada? :)

Apakah pengertian bila kita memakai tudung? Apakah tggjwb yg kita pikul bila kita b'tudung? Islamkah kita bila kita b'tudung? B'imankah kita bila kita b'tudung? :) bnyk p'soalan yg perlu dijawab bila timbulnya isu tudung ni... :) Ada yg kata...'nanti la dulu...hati aku belom t'buka nk pakai tudung' Ada jugak yg kata 'ingat org yg pakai tudung tu baik sgt ker?' Ada jugak yg ckp...'panas la pakai tudung...rimas...' :)

Pelangi sendiri kdg2 b'tudung...kdg2 tidak...pelangi masih m'cari dan mengenal diri sendiri...tp apa yg pasti bila kita b'tudung segala keperibadian kita harus dijaga..tutur kata dan setiap kelakuan kita haruslah penoh budi bahasa...itu adalah satu tggjwb yg jarang dpt dilaksanakan oleh pemakai2 tudung...oleh sbb itu pelangi mengambil masa utk n'fikir...bkn mudah utk m'buat keputusan itu kerana bila kita katakan 'aku ingin bertudung' maka seluruh kehidupan kita akan b'ubah...

Bertudung itu adalah salah satu hijrah... :) dgn penoh rasa rendah diri dan kesyukuran...pelangi m'buat hijrah itu... :) satu persatu...sedikit demi sedikit pelangi mengarut langkah...panggilan hijrah itu sebnrnya dtg dr Allah...cahaya itu adalah HAK ALLAH...hanya Allah sahaja yg b'hak menentukan siapa yg akan dpt cahaya hijrah itu dan kekal dgn cahaya hijrah itu selamanya...

Moga pelangi kekal begini... :) insya'Allah...masih bnyk isu yg perlu dikupas ttg tudung ni.. :) tp pelangi ingin belajar lebih lg ttg pemakaian tudung ni...apa yg penting adalah hati dan kecekalan diri utk memikul tggjwb sebagai muslimah yg b'tudung... :)

Hijrah itu indah... :)